FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Run Your Mouth Like a Business: Investigative Satirists ‘Shiny & Shady’ Launch Weekly Game Day Survival Guide
New Series Premiering Tuesday, September 10th Exposes How Billionaire NFL Owners and Stadium Test Kitchens Monetize Fan Intakes
PHOENIX, AZ — “Shiny & Shady are investigative satirists. Think about how great John Oliver is. Now imagine how much better he would be without a team of HBO lawyers breathing down his neck!” said The Late Shady O’Leery.
“We start at the bottom with the Arizona Cardinals, because we have an actual study that proves when your team loses you are more likely to eat and drink yourself into a coma!’ says Shiny “Rose Fletcher” Fang, MBA. “Your body is a business in which you maintain 100% equity, but everybody wants into your piehole—especially the billionaire owners who control the stadiums where you are held captive for five hours. This series is about situational awareness. Preparing yourself for game day and having a plan so you emerge intact.”
“What we discovered in our research is that everyone has a plan for your Game Day Intake (GDI) except you, the Fan. GDI is everything,” adds co-host Shady, himself a widow-maker survivor who has since been deprescribed of the five medications his stent surgeon told him he would be on for the rest of his life.
Through their forensic investigations, Shiny & Shady reveal a pattern of four competing missions:
Players & Coaches: On a mission to win.
NFL Owners: On a mission to go to the bank.
Fans: On a mission of heartfelt tradition, nostalgia, and fun—fueled by mindless intake.
Shiny & Shady: On a mission from God to save your ASSS.
“That’s not a typo,” explains Shady. “Alcohol. Sugar. Salt. Saturated Fat.”
Armed with explicit immunity, our heroes take zero prisoners when auditing stadium concourses. “The best part is that we are duly authorized and fully armed with a Matthew 7:1 Waiver. ‘Judge not lest ye be judged’ does not apply to us,” Shiny explains. “We are not only free to judge others based on their appearance; it is a condition of employment.”
“Before he sent me back, the Lord said two things, ‘Sometimes you have to sacrifice a few for the many and a I thought you’d be funnier.’ What we judge is behavior. If you look like crap because your behavior sucks, that’s not our issue. Before my heart attack, I had an extra 40 pounds of bad behavior,” Shady jokes. “We are in the behavior modification business.”
Premiering Tuesday, September 10th, Shiny & Shady serves as your ultimate wake-up call with their Game Day Survival Series. Each week, the show targets a new NFL franchise, dissects the deadliest item on the stadium menu, spotlights the executive chef who created it, and names the billionaire socialist who benefits, unless he happens to be in a trailer park cutting a check for some strange.
“If your body is a business, preserving equity means running your mouth like a business,” Shiny warns. “Like Shady says, ‘That’s not Jack In The Box—it’s you in the box!’”
Cast
To book The Late Shady O’Leery as a guest on your show contact: Shady at Shiny and Shady Dot Com